how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
