So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
