life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
