I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
