I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize