i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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