I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
