If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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