Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
