apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dick very happy bro
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
