Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My vagina is officially offended.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
