Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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