He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
