they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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