and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
