my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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