Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
