imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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