i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
