i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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