i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
