New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
