You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
