You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sober January is a disaster.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize