Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
