physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
