therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
