I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize