The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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