it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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