After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
