and she was petting her beer can
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
