i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
