I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
