I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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