For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
