omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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