Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
