Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
where are my eyebrows?
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