Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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