At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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