I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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