Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
