This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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