i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
