Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
