the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize