I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
