the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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