she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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