Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
