She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
