apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
