Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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