Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
