You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
