She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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