Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
