So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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