How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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