i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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