if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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