i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
