Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
