i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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