i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
