I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize