i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
