pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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